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Poobased
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20th-Aug-2008 05:42 pm - Hemorrhoids?
I think I have hemorrhoids because every time I take a shit and wipe, there's bright red blood on the TP and my sphincter burns like a son of a bitch! Either that or it's a really bad phisher from shitting out turds the size of pop cans... though that might explain why I could have rhoids too.. between all the constipation then diarrhea, then more constipation/ boulder turds.. too much pushing poo!

I've never had rhoids before. Any one ever have them? I think it's on on the inside of the hole because I don't see any stinky grapes hanging from my greasy donut or anything, know what I mean?

x-posted.
poobased bear
15th-Feb-2007 05:12 am - Mmm, ear scab thing.
Every day I have a little itch in my ear that makes me scrape my thumbnail across the top of the inside of my canal. Every day I pull out a dry skin scab wax unidentifiable flake thing. Today it looked like a heart. Hahaha, I scanned it.

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poobased girl
2nd-Feb-2007 06:48 pm - Poobased strikes again!
http://community.livejournal.com/_postsecret_/147842.html?thread=75072130&style=mine#t75072130

http://community.livejournal.com/_postsecret_/146100.html?thread=74010292#t74010292

In other news, it's been a couple of days since I have taken a big shit. This is why I made some greasy "heartburn stew" tonight. Yeeah, this should produce some sweet logs.
ex-lax
27th-Jan-2007 05:13 pm - Poo poo Plushies!
I was looking for poop images through google and I came across this wicked-cool plushies!

http://burgerlog.com/gallery/burgerlog/

Aww, aren't they cute little shits?
poo
23rd-Jan-2007 06:13 pm - The Squash
A couple nights ago, I ate a whole acorn squash to myself for lack of anything else to eat. As I was eating the mushy mess, I was laughing to myself thinking about how it's probably going to run right through me and clean my intestines out real good.

To my surprise it actually had the opposite effect. I was constipated for two days and somewhat worried thinking "Wow, I still have that whole squash inside of me!" I finally just shat it out a few minutes ago, and it was one of the thickest, stickiest, gummiest shits I've ever taken! It was all stuck in my butt. Thank shit I picked up those wipes last night or I'd have gone through a hell of a lot of toilet paper trying to clean out my asshole.
poobased girl
11th-Jan-2007 11:28 pm - No more Daily LoG.
So I got lazy with the log reports. I just shit way too often to be recording it all the time. I also ran out of paper on the pad I was jotting things down on. If I ever have a really good shit worthy enough to report, I'm sure I'll write about it anyways.

I do have a good belch recipe though-- Eating popcorn and drinking orange juice makes your burps smell and taste exactly like Fruit Loops. Just follow your nose!
ex-lax
4th-Jan-2007 11:59 pm - Poop Today!
9:49am:
Feels hard in my anus.
Pushing. . . Pushing. . .
It went back it.
Pushed harder
Finally shot out a brown banana with much force.
A few cylindrical floaters aswell.
A little smelly, but could be worse
Wipe was dry but still dirty.
Small pepper skin again.
One flusher.

3:00pm:
Unexpected
Just happened when I peed.
Two regualt brown logs
One bigger than the other.
No apparent odor, nothing special
Weird see-like object in wipe
Confused as to how I've been shitting multiple times a day when I've hardly eaten.
poobased bear
4th-Jan-2007 11:35 am - Yesterday's Shizzo
Jan 3rd-- poop.

10:15am:
Dry fart and stabbing pain in abdomen
Easy exit
Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear
Papa sunk while Mama and Baby floated
Mama had a nut
Wet wipe, no smell
Rich brown.

12:11pm:
Came back to see last shit didn't go down all the way
Bottom of bowl laced with crumbs of previous bears.
Tried to flush but toilet rapidly flooded with brown water
Cramping and panicking
Trying to fight off cat from playing with TP and chunks floating in bowl.
Starting to prairie dog
Had to plunge.
Not happy for I fear splash-back.
Finally fixed toilet
Soft-serve shit, very warm and rotten smell
Like bad turkey and cheese
Looks soft and airy
Quite a shit pile in bottom of the bowl
Wiped and flushed once, then had a wet fart
Flushed again
No flood this time = me happy.
poo
2nd-Jan-2007 11:59 pm - Only One Poo
1:16pm:
Weird bowl fart
Cramps bad
One long turd with little floaters
After waiting more came out like soft-serve icecream
Smells warm and rancid
Non-grainy but messy wipe
Used lost of T.P.
Normal colour.
poobased bear
1st-Jan-2007 09:11 pm - . . . and she's back.
Happy fuck'n New Year. This year is the year of the pig, which is what I am-- not in the chinese zodiac sense mind you. To start things off, I am keeping a LOG, yes, LOG, of my daily shittles. Today started off well as I have had 3 shits.

10:41am:
Softish/sticky--somewhat normal
Little chunks stuck in my anus near the end
Regular poo-brown colour
Fairly smooth in consistancy
No strong smell
One little twig-like thing in major turd-log
One Flush.

2:42pm:
Sudden
Smooth exit
Two major logs and a few crumbs
Two more delayed little pooballs popped out with a fart near the end
Very soft wipe, almost wet.
Smells like diarrhea
Red pepper skin in final wipe.

6:12pm:
Starts with a weak fart
Slow and hard exit. . .
Very s l o w . . .
Followed by a soft squirt floater thing
Weak smell
A couple grainy stick things in wipe
Colour lighter than usual.
poobased girl 2
This is a real product and as far as I know, the commercials are still being aired on TV. It's unfortunate the video clip I have here is so blurry, because this is some sick yet hilarious shit. I laugh good.


http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/oozinator/the-oozinator-delights-children-170588.php

http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/oozinator/oozinators-origins-revealed-172380.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oozinator
poobased girl
3rd-Jul-2006 03:08 am - Ashlee Simpson is a Twat.
http://entertainment1.sympatico.msn.ca/Celebs/News/ContentPosting.aspx?newsitemid=KP29060601&feedname=CP-SHOWBIZ_V2&show=False&number=0&showbyline=False&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc

"I love my boobs," Simpson stated."My sister always grew up having a larger chest. Whether you have big boobs or small boobs there are always pros and cons. If you have bigger you want smaller, and vice versa."

Ummm. . . No, Ashlee. That's only something a small tittied girl would say. Mine are "bigger" I would never want smaller, thanks.
sexy buns
19th-Jun-2006 07:32 pm - Burnt Chicken
I can't cook worth a shit. :(

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It tasted worse than it looked and it gave me black diarrhea the next day.
ex-lax
14th-Jun-2006 02:37 am - Information about Green Poo.
Let the Poobased teach a thing or two on green poo.

Have you ever taken a shit and to your surprise it was GREEN!? Where you scared? Worried? Wondered how the hell that happened? Wondered if you were sick or diseased? Well, here is a link to explain this phenomenon for you.

http://www.poopreport.com/Intellectual/Content/Dye/dye.html

I of course had to do this experiment myself. . . and it was a success. I did this a few months ago and for some reason feel a strong need to post it in this journal now.

My shit behind the cut. If you don't like it, don't look at it. I put it under the cut for a reason. If I hear any complaints, be ready for my retaliation. :DCollapse )

Such a beautiful creation, no?
poo
12th-Jun-2006 04:43 am - Jack the Cat, one mean S.O.B.
Ahahaha! I like bears and all, but cats are fantastic.

http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2006/06/09/cat-bear.html

That's one badass kitty.
poobased bear
I hate it when this happens:

You get in the shower and start the washing process. You get to the part where you soap up your vag (or for guys, ass) and you soap and soap and soap it up some more until it's nice and sudsy. Then you move on to washing your hair or shaving your armpits or something, leaving your soapy crotch to be rinsed out when you're done the other cleaning processes. Then you finish and you step out of the shower and start to happily dry yourself off until you realize your crotch is still totally full of soap because you're a stupid retard and forgot to rinse it out. Then you have to go back in the shower (sometimes this proceedure can be done at the sink aswell) and rinse the crotch (or ass) suds away.

Or it's even worse when you're in the shower and you suddenly realize you have to take a big shit, so you have to get out the the shower and sit on the toilet and because your ass is wet, you start slipping all over the seat.

Or even worse when you're finished showering and you're all sqeaky clean and THEN you feel a huge shit coming on, and you got and take that shit and it totally ruins that fresh out of the shower feeling.


Yeah, that sucks.
poobased bear
9th-Jun-2006 09:37 pm - Myspace whores on Tech TV.
I saw something rather disturbing on Tech TV while I was making dinner. I couldn't really hear the TV from the kitchen, but I could see it and the show that was on had a segment called "MySpace girl of the week" and it showed a picture of some slutty looking bitch whoring it up for her webcam.

I really think MySpace.com should consider changing their name to one of the following: "SlutCentral.com". "TastlessCamWhores.com", "ConceitedAttentionSeekingBitches.com", "RetardsR'Us.com", "VDgirlsForLonleyFatComputerSlobs.net", "SerialRapistBait.com"

It sickens me how these young girls/women use that shit site to show their junk (whether clothed, partially clothed or not). Jesus Christ, why not just start an internet porn site for themselves? At least they might make a couple bucks that way, rather than doing it soley for the unprofitable attention. What's even more fucked is how that shit's even made it to TV now. I don't go to myspace because I don't care for that shit, I shouldn't have to turn on the TV to have it thrown in my face aswell.

You're all a bunch of filthy web whores. I hope you try to meet up with some psycho internet jerk you met on your site after whoring your body for him in web cam pics. Other than a waste of oxygen, you're nothing but rapist bait. Have fun playing the victim on a corny someone-I met-from-myspace-raped-me-episode of Montel in a few years from now. Stupid little skanks.

Fuck the tech tv show for condoning such shit.

For now, here's a hot picture of my "LiveJournal girl of the week". Enjoy, fuckers.

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sexy buns
6th-Jun-2006 11:02 pm - Poobased has entered the building.
I've finally sunk lower than a non-floaty turd. Thanks boredom, you bring out the sick tard in me.
ex-lax
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